So I might just be whining for this entire post but I feel safe on here and like this is my blog to say what I want and not have people degrading my thoughts........so if you have any negative comments its best you leave them to yourself....because I might lose it on you....
I've been feeling very lonely lately....like I have Ben but other than that I feel like we are just left to take care of ourselves and we don't matter much to anyone anymore..... Like getting married just made me feel like now you're a big kid take care of yourself. All these people are getting help with school and housing and laptops for school and all this stuff, and I know that me and Ben are solely responsible for both of our schooling, housing, and a laptop for Ben....and its just overwhelming.... And this may sound greedy but I just wish sometimes that I got the same financial support as some of our other siblings because it would make life a whole lot easier and less stressful.....I've been putting off going back to school for so long because I'm afraid of the debt. I know that Ben has to go to school and I know that his student loans alone are going to be at least half a million....easily closer to a million....and that scares me.....so I guess I just wish that we would receive some help....and I know that there are scholarships and financial aid and we are definitely going to get as much financial aid as we can and we are working on scholarships but its just stressful....... and so I'm afraid to start school till I know I will graduate close to when Ben does so that it is easier to pay off any student loans that I have to take out. I appreciate everything that our families have helped us out with but I feel like since we got married at such a young age we got jipped a little. Like I was going to have my first semester of college paid for if I was still single but I decided I would rather get married and pay for it myself than let Ben go. I guess I'm just sick of feeling like I got the short end of the stick because it makes me feel like I'm not as important as everyone else or there is something wrong with me or something.
On a brighter note..... Me and Ben officially have insurance again!!!! Which means I can finally get my wisdom teeth ripped out and my teeth semi fixed.....also only 20 more days and we find out if Ben made it into UNC.......and the best news of all............drum roll please......... We are moving out of Alaska soon!!! :D :D
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It IS your blog. Say what you want! As long as you aren't saying really really awful things that hurt people. Cause thats not nice. But besides that, gooo for it. This is your space to vent. :D
ReplyDeleteI love you! I'm stoked that you get to mooove!